Anxiety: Part 1

When I was little, people (mostly my mother) would say I had anxiety. I didn’t understand what they meant. It took me years—decades even—to connect the concept of anxiety with the all-consuming, stomach-churning tunnel vision that happens when I’m worried about what might happen in the immediate future. It wasn’t until that feeling was gone—or …

Rant: Pandemic Isolation

I consider myself an introvert, so when this pandemic started, the prospect of less socialization didn't seem all that bad. After all, there's always the internet for my entertainment needs. And I've got pets who would probably love to be included in my daily activities (especially the kitten). Until I noticed that people were taking …

Change: Part 1

My living situation has changed. It's not the sort of news I expected to share within the next decade, let alone now, but I'm still reeling from it. Anyone would be, I'm sure... I've had to force myself to deal with strangers, some of whom have been helpful, and some of whom have proven immovable …

Rant: Complaining/Excuses

“I’ve helped disabled people and none of them complained or made excuses” is the wish-I-could-backhand-you-in-person take of the evening, as well of the topic of today’s post. Some of you might read that and think it’s a strong reaction on my part—but you know what? I‘m sick of the notion that never complaining is virtuous. …

Communication: Part 4

One thing I’ve never understood is how talking about your problems is supposed to make you feel better. Unless you’re talking to someone who can advise you on how to solve your problem—and I mean real solutions, not just preaching about “changing your perspective”, which may or may not entail “Other people have it worse, …

Rant: The Problem with “Do This, Not That!”

In case you’re not familiar with the popular Do This, Not That! tutorial format (or the art community’s variant, Draw This, Not That!) it’s pretty self explanatory: think old-school Dos & Don’ts lists. The aim is to call out bad habits and help you improve your technique in…whatever application X tutorial was curated for, really, …

Public Speaking & Presentations

Years ago, in a group chat, a friend suggested I try toastmasters. I don’t remember what I wrote back, only a pregnant pause. Where was this coming from all of a sudden? That friend had known about my autism for more than a decade, since all the way back when aspergers was still considered a …

Communication: Part 3

“How are you?” People ask, all too often… “I know you don’t care”, I think, “you’re only asking because you want me to say ‘good’”, and ‘good’ is often what slips out. I don’t have the energy (or the guts) to openly accuse everyone of not caring, and they would probably deny anything and everything …

Communication: Part 2

I don't like debate. Actually, I hate it. With the fiery passion of a thousand suns. Debate is about making your opponent look incompetent. It's about defeating them with logic and exposing them for the intellectual fraud they are. To survive a debate (never mind emerge victorious) you need to be quick-witted, razor-tongued, and diamond-skinned. …

Positivity: Part 1

This will be one of those posts where I know my opinion will conflict with that of other autistics, as many autistics still subscribe to the 'power of positivity'. And that is their prerogative. Personally, I no longer invest in positivity as reality has presented incontestable opposition on more occasions than I was ever able …